Snap

I had two long days at work. I wasn't minding the 12 hour shifts. It was a place to be. I was making money. That's all fine with me.


I don't worry about Wally anymore. I used to be concerned about how he would fare out in the world, all day long, by himself. I would worry endlessly about him, and would rather be with him than to take care of what I needed to. 


That's over.


Now, I feel differently. He is a grown man and he's responsible for his own life... Just as I am responsible for mine. 


My son called and asked me to go out to dinner with him. I had to decline. I had to work. I realized after I hung up that it was his birthday dinner he was inviting me to! Oh crap! How thoughtless of me! With everything going on in my life I completely forgot about his birthday. Oh well... This time he'll just have to turn a year older without me. He is a grown man too. 


My daughter... also grown... seems to having a problem where she's living now. That's life. When the newness wears off the flaws become obvious. I am not getting involved at all. It is absolutely none of my business. 


Through my long days of work, throwing bars and flipping boxes, and palletizing, I have all of this time to think. The machinery roars. Even my earplugs don't block the noise. When we talk to each other we have to yell. 


At last the end of the shift comes and 7 to 7:30 in the evening is our transition time. The night shift crew gradually take over our places and we filter out. 


I've been taking every minute that I can, for the pay and so that I can have the restroom to myself. I get cleaned up a bit and change my clothes. It's helped me feel more comfortable after work. After that all I want is to eat and to sleep... and that's all I need. 


Wally started out complaining. It lasted for a couple of days. I just sat and listened. I have nothing to say really. He was miserable. What am I supposed to say?


You see... something has snapped inside of me... "snap"