Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Out of the mouths... of boys...

I've had my ups and downs the last few days, that's for sure.

My days and nights just blend into one. There just isn't much difference to me. Sometimes I think I'd like to have a regular schedule... you know, like getting to sleep all night every night, get up in the morning (at a decent hour, like anytime after 5am) and work all day, come home in the evening.. yeah... and repeat that... yeah... Maybe that would be nice.  

Then I start thinking that I probably wouldn't adjust well to that anyway. I'm too used to having my schedule all messed up.

The last couple of nights were interesting. I am training my replacement... I guess... I figure I'm on my way out the door, one way or the other.  

Anyway, the new guy is a really nice boy. He's a friend of Newbie's. I like him. 

Hmm... well he's a young man... not a boy... it's just that I'm old enough to be his mother. 

It's so odd getting older... when a grown adult in their twenties or thirty's seems so very young to me sometimes. But I'm YOUNG too! Really I am! Yes, in my head I am young. 

Which reminds me... I wanted to tell you about Newbie, who has now been threatened to be written up for not doing something that is not his responsibility, just like I was. The whole thing isn't setting with him very well either. He's going to refuse signing any reprimands if he gets them. I told him that I'd been written up three times already for this.  

I have paved the way... He gets to be smarter about this, handle it better and not let the same stupid thing happen to him that happened to me... at least I'd like to think so.

I had another note from the boss that morning and it had upset me. Newbie's advice was to ignore it.

Why should I ignore it? Why should I let him blame me for things that are not my fault? Yes, there was a time when I would've just blown it off, but what happened when I did? Formal written reprimands, false accusations, suspensions... geez man, a world of freeking trouble!

Then Newbie told me that I should ask to have those reprimands taken out of my records because it would make them look stupid... them?...What?... It would make "them" look stupid?... what?

Who has he been talking to I wonder?  

I started thinking of last week when Newbie flat out remarked about my last name and asked me if I was "Spanish", or "Latino"... I answered, "No," He seemed puzzled, "Well, what kind of a name is it then?"

Well, what kind of a question is that?

I explained that the name is Portuguese. I have taken my husbands name. Where am I from? 

I'm from Florida. I lived there for many years. 

Well, okay, I was born in West Virginia, grew up there. Who am I? Well, okay, I'm English, Dutch, Irish and German with a bit of Cherokee thrown in.... What the heck?

Where did THAT come from I wonder? 

This new "newbie" is a breath of fresh air. (The one I am training now.) I thought I could hear a southern twang in his voice, but then I thought I must be wrong because it appears that he's gone to school with all of these people and has been here for a while, if not his whole life.  

As we worked together I found that he was very easy to talk to and yes.. I was right about the twang. "I'm from the South," he said with a big, bright smile. It took me by surprise as I said, "So am I!" and we both started in asking questions at the same time. Where in the south? Do you know where such-and-such is? Oh have you ever been to... ? How long has it been since you've been?... home... 

Ah, but it isn't my "home" anymore and won't be again. 

I'll be calling him "Twang" here. No, he is not Asian, haha! Why do people have to be so silly about names? He's from Georgia, but did go to school here, returned to the south then came back here. He's a cool kid and really... meeting him made me ache for my son.

Tony got back into town from his job up in Alaska day before yesterday. I did get a message from him. I returned his call but never got a call back. 

I started to lose hope I guess... things here between us all were really messed up when he left... I started to figure that.. yeah he went his own way... and yeah... he's going to keep on going... 

Then he showed up at our door tonight!


  1. Kim here's a ready-made Google search for you to peruse: I googled the phrase "When an employer is spiritually toxic" and the results sounded as though you could have written many of the articles listed.

    My picks early-on in the search:




    Interestingly, one article originates in Trinidad and is offered by a group of younger writers, and one is authored by a writer who's part of the nursing profession (toxic workplaces are everywhere...).

    Kim, your employer, for whatever reason, is slowly killing you spiritually. I hope you find a way to either change the environment there, or to find another workplace which is less toxic.

    I am deeply concerned for you, my friend; deeply concerned...

    *hugs Kim very bigly*

  2. Thanks Marge, I read them all... the later I cannot relate to much.. but the other 2 hit nail right on the head! WOW!!! (I want to print off the first one and post it in our breakroom at work! HAHA! (good thing I'm out of ink)

    Every job I've had out here so far has been toxic. I've quit a few. I cannot quit anymore jobs.

    I cannot explain why I cannot quit here in this forum.

    I will just say that times are bad, jobs are few and I never want my daughter to go hungry.

    I won't quit. They are going to have to fire me.