I woke up tired this morning. I hate it when that happens...
I was also feeling rather blue. It was raining, cold and dark at midnight. I was dreading going in to work... one of those days where I was thinking about just driving away... just chuck it all, pack the car and drive away.
I started my drive towards work in a dismal mood. I'm tired. I'm tired of this job. I'm tired of everyone there treating me as if I just fell off a turnip truck. I'm tired of having to fight for everything I want, for everything that I need. I'm tired of feeling like a schmuck because sometimes I am just too darned tired to fight.
I feel old, exhausted and completely used up.
When I got out to the main road to head out of town and into Twilight I realized that I really couldn't see the road very well due to the rain, so I switched on my bright lights.
That's when I saw LEGS!
I instantly hit the brakes hoping I wouldn't slide and my first thought was 'what in the world are people doing crossing this road at THIS hour?'...
By then I was going slow and had gotten close enough to see that they were deer... two beautiful doe just meandering in the right hand lane.
I was at a stop... really didn't matter... there was nobody else out... so I just sat there for a moment to watch them.
The deer here are really quite tame. They don't seem to be afraid of people or cars.
They walked back and forth, nosed each other, looked up at me, then went back to walking again, almost as if they were putting on a show.
I was in awe... What an incredible sight!
I wasn't grinding my teeth anymore. My headache had gone away. I no longer felt old. My thoughts were free of aggravations.
It was like a moment of clarity came over me, (or perhaps insanity, ha!) as I just got this overwhelming feeling that I was supposed to see this today.
Even when everything is totally rotten, a small glimpse of beauty can change the way you see your world.
Kim, the fact that you were OPEN to the experience and embraced it tells me that life was offering you a little comfort and you accepted it. Wise lady.
ReplyDeleteYou're doing your best. You have a good work ethic. You have a good heart. All these things are qualities not everyone can see and appreciate, but I hope you remember that those who know and love you see those qualities in you already. If you forget, I hope your friends and family will remind you--I surely will.
The saddest thing about the way our culture is affecting most of us is how people are doing their best to do the right thing and so little is being done for them in return. The rich and greedy seem to get more while those with little or nothing get less.
I've come to grips with the meanness and lack of compassion around me by doing my best to be kind and compassionate when opportunities present themselves. Sometimes--just sometimes--people learn something from an act of kindness and will feel compelled to perform an act of kindness as a result.
Check out the Random Acts of Kindness website
http://www.actsofkindness.org/
it knocked my sox off with its down-to-earth, sensible ways of contributing to the goodness in the world. If nothing else, the stories of kindness are uplifting and empowering.
You have a friend here in central Iowa who's rooting for you and sending all kinds of positive vibes your way!!! You're gonna do just fine!
*hugs Kim very bigly*
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ReplyDeleteHello, Kim!
ReplyDeleteI am so very happy to read your new blog! When Margret told me you had started it, I did a happydance and asked her to show me where to find you.
I hope the things which are making you unhappy get better, but I know that Wally and Nikkie will help as much as they are able.
This old bear sends you lots of hugs!
I had to re-post this comment for you; I was so happy I hit the wrong button at the wrong time and lost the whole thing. I was a very befuddled bear...
((HUGS)) Marge
ReplyDeleteTeddy you are just the cutest bear!