Friday, February 4, 2011

Going Crazy?

I have to say that I am dreadfully tired of this whole "homeless" thing.

I want  place to hang my hat.

I was just starting to feel like a regular person again, (after 3 showers) free of grime and stench, and... back to normal.

Wally and I met up with Tony for coffee and a good long talk. He is doing just fine. He got called back for the job in Alaska and plans to go. He got the prep cook position he was wanting and this time he'll be gone for six months. He's really excited about going and I am excited for him.

We also went and visited Danielle for a while. She has started this semester going to school online. I think she'll do much better at it than Tony did. (Heck, she is the most self-motivated person I have ever seen in my life.) She seems to be doing very well and there was no mention of her guardianship... She did briefly mention that she thought it would be best for her to live with her own "parents"... which put a little spark in my eye and a bounce back in my step.

Then... Wally and I were back out into the world with no where to really go. There is no place to be.

We went to the library and stayed until it closed. Then we headed north. We'd taken to parking in a rest stop that is up towards where I work. I thought it was best to move around a bit, not be in the same place night after night. It turned out to be a mistake to stay at the rest stop two nights in a row. We were woken up and asked to leave.

I worked my three days. All of them were twelve hour shifts. All of them were tough this week. I left every night with no place to go to clean up much. The only place to lay is in the backseat of the car which I share with Wally. It's been wet and cold but at least it hasn't snowed. The only thing I've done is work, eat and sleep. That's it.

I was feeling more miserable than usual when I left work... tired, sore, and dirty.

I have the next three days off. I have my paycheck in my pocket plus some leftover cash from our friends surprise delivery... so I started thinking...

I don't think I can take another night in the car... not tonight anyway... I know I should save the money... but... I'm going a little bit crazy... I don't know what to do... I can't decide what would be best...

I decided to get a room... not just for the night... for a few nights... I need a good dose of the basics of life, showers, clean clothes, a handy restroom, and a warm dry place to sleep. I need rest. I need to sit still and think for a while, or maybe NOT to think for a while... maybe a few days to not think about anything... to leave my worries at the door.

1 comment:

  1. Kim, I hope you take the room. Rest. Enjoy a few nice, long showers; watch some tube. Enjoy a little "normal" living; get online if there's internet access there, or spend more time at the library. Do some research--there's got to be more resources available to help you and Wally get out of your situation.

    I continue to think of you and send my best hopes.

    Spring will be here soon; warm weather, and time in the sunshine and fresh air.

    Thing have got to get better soon...