Friday, February 25, 2011

Going On

Anything I say can and will be held against me.

Oh well, so be it and amen... That's the way life is.

I'm going to write anyway. 

I suppose I'm about over the shock of everything and ready to move on. By move on I mean just keep going. 

I've had to cut myself off completely from one of the people that I love the most in the world. I had to because every little thing I say is taken and stretched out of context. My privacy of conversation was compromised and infested. It doesn't matter that I'm being extremely careful what I say. I am not willing to share it with a third party. It just doesn't matter... 

It think Kay might be looking for things to hang me with. Sorry, that's just what I think. She's trying to make things up... Medical neglect... please! She has provoked me, she wants me to email her. I'm not going to. 

Being silent will probably bite me in the ass too.  

Hell, I don't know what to do!!!

I'm feeling grief. I've made mistakes. I had to talk to my ex, which ended up being a screaming match that I lost this time... my mistake...

I was going to spend my time off apartment hunting... 

With such a world changing thing going on (in my world, my little world), it's hard to think about that. 

I had a meltdown. The sun never came up. I had another meltdown... 

Today has been better. I still don't know what to do. I am not really strong enough to deal with this right now. I am gaining, but I am not there yet. 

January was really a hard month. Wally and I never expected to really be in the position that we were. 

Right now I'm just recovering and licking my wounds. 


  1. You should change your phone number now. There really is no reason for your X to ever call you again. Your daughter can contact you on facebook. Defriend the other lady on facebook so she can't contact you and change your email address or block her so she can't bother you. I tried to visit my daughter last summer. I called and my x-husband's girlfriend told me I could never see my daughter again. They have converservative ship of her. She is 23 and they never told me they did. I just wanted to visit her and they told me if I went near their house they would arrest me. I never did go see her. I didn't want to fight with them. I will never see her again.

  2. I sorry to hear that Connie... I wouldn't wish this upon anyone...

    I had to defriend my daughter on Facebook, because this woman is IN HER ACCOUNT...

    I haven't checked my regular email yet. I think I am afraid to look. I feel sure that is woman is wanting to provoke me into saying something awful.. or even if I'm nice she'll twist it around.

    I have a feeling that I have seen and spoken to my daughter for the last time already

  3. Kim,does Dani read here? If so then Kay is reading here too. I'm sorry that this has happened...damn! I think u have been there for Dani and Tony both...working crazy hours,selling blood,working when u are too sick to stand up. She's at a age where she wants what she wants. If Kay wants her then geeze Kay should just take her(oh wait,she already has). Kay wants you and Jake to pay child support. Well isn't that great..Jake never paid child support and Kay thinks she can get it. Or are they going to let him slide and demand you pay it. You who can't get your feet under you for 1 month before someone knocking you back down. Please stop beating yourself up. This child that you love with all your heart has not stopped to think what she is doing to you. Dani is still thinking of Dani. So what is Kay going to do when the cops show up at her door with Dani? Is she going to kick her to the curb? Thats not what you did. You and Wally have been the 2 most understanding adults I know. Because truthfully if one of mine had ever done the things Dani has done I would have beat the hell out of them. They knew that so they didn't do it. I'm NOT putting Dani down...I'm saying you have been far more understanding than I ever would have been. I had zero tolerance with stealing/lying/drugs/ when mine were teens. I think you have showed so much compassion with her and her teen hijinks. You may have to pay child support for a year. I know that is not what bothers you. You are hurting because your child who u love has turned her back on you. There are lots of people becoming or already are homeless. It's not something to be ashamed of. YOU TRIED!!! I'm keeping you in my prayers. I'm praying for Dani too...and hopfully she will see her mistake before it's too late. Where is this womans husband? God bless you my friend,love Liz

  4. Yes Liz you are quite right...

    I have been too understanding while Dani has been doing whatever the fuck she chooses and lying to me, I have been taking her side and defending her.

    I'm kicking myself in the ass because I lost one of my best friends over this (Jessie) because she spoke the truth to me about my daughter and just did not want to hear it.

    This time Dani has turned on ME... and I will not be coming to her defense again... (I saw what she did to her Father... and I'll be damned if she repeats it with me.) I'm not going to be like him and waste money, time and grovel for her attention...

    I do hope all goes well for her and she keeps her nose clean, because I have a feeling if she gets herself in trouble now it is not going to be pretty for her... and also may be seriously bad for the others in that home.