Thursday, January 13, 2011

The Faces

There are good days and bad days... good moments and bad moments...


Ending up homeless was one of my worse fears and I've been in a panic about it for a long time.


Now that it's happened to us?... Well?... The world didn't come to an end. 


Sometimes I find myself on the verge of being very depressed about our situation. Some things are hard. It's hard to get clean (and stay clean) it's hard to keep track of your stuff (when you're shuffling it all around in a car) it's hard to keep warm, it's hard to sleep...


I worry about Danielle. Oh, I know she's safe and in a good home, cared for, but...


I worry about Dani being away from us so much. She is old enough now that this might be it. She may just break away from us and not come back. She's 16 and I'm not ready to let her go yet. I want a couple of more years.


Thanks to our friends helping us out I've been able to work. I worked last week and I'm working this week. I worked a 12 hour shift yesterday, got another one tomorrow, then Saturday I have a catering gig, and Sunday I've have another 12 hour shift... So, the work is finally starting to come in regularly and I'm keeping busy.


It was discouraging again when I picked up my paycheck today... -40 taxes, -15 social security, -10 worker's comp, -15 WA state something-or-another...*sigh*... 


How will I ever get back on my feet?


I had to make another trip down to the food stamp place to turn in some paystubs. It turned out to be a valuable trip as it increased the amount I was allotted (since my pay the last few months has been pathetic) and it looks like I can get health insurance supplied to me.


There is also a new program that I might be able to take advantage of... If I get another job (like a full time stable job) there are funds available to help transition into it as your first pays are usually withheld. It's something to think about. 


We're still driving around on a donut tire. The drivers side door still will not open from the outside. We're still sleeping in the car with the exception of that one night that we got a room. 


I'm just kind of bracing myself for the next thing that will bust, break, explode or otherwise totally ruin what's left of my life. 


We've been trying to be very careful with all of our resources, have something set aside if (I mean "when") the next disaster comes our way. I believe I've wasted too much time being hopeful that everything will work out. 


It didn't work out... It isn't going to work out. 


We've been hitting all the places around town that serve free meals. That has been so helpful! 


We see the faces, listen to the stories, we are one of them, they are just like us... There are some that are disabled or even suffering with mental illness, but it seems the vast majority are regular people... educated, hopeful, hard-working, most of them are EMPLOYED... but flat ass broke like we are.






   

4 comments:

  1. Hi Kim,

    Thanks for posting. It's a good way to stay connected. Hey did you ever think of writing a book about your experiences. You are an awesome writer, it could be a really cool thing, to document peoples stories and experiences... put faces to what is going on in the US today. Just a thought. Big hugs.
    Love deanne

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  2. Kim, Deanne may have an excellent idea about journaling your experiences and sharing them in a media venue. I hope you'll consider it.

    I've had an idea: a friend of mine is a feature writer and photographer for our local newspaper...I'm going to direct her to your blog and see if I can get her feedback about it and suggestions about how you might try writing for the media.

    I realize that I may be presumptious in doing this, Kim, but it could be a step in a better direction for you and your family. I can offer iformation; it's up to you, certainly, if it's useful for you or not.

    You are experiencing something which any one of us may experience at any time now--Steve has told me that all of us are only 24 hours away from being homeless. It can and does happen; sometimes in the blink of an eye. Sharing your experiences might be the wake-up call the rest of us needs.

    It's too easy to point at others and refer to them as "them"--it sets you further apart from "us"; it further disconnects us from our fellow Americans and makes it that much easier to insulate ourselves and deny the fact that your circumstances could just as easily be our own.

    Please, Kim; consider sharing your experiences either in a local newspaper or see if you could syndicate your story with a national chain or publication of some kind.

    Yours is a story that could be any of ours at any time. Perhaps it's time people had an opportuity to read about what is happening to you.

    It could very easily be something that will happen to the rest of "us" any day.

    I send my best possible hopes and wishes, my respects, and love.

    Stay strong.

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  4. Kim, I've already sent Tammy (my friend who writes for our local paper) a Facebook message about you, including a link to your blog. She has responded and told me she has deadline assignments to finish first, but will get to your story when her work is finished later today.

    *crosses fingers and hopes really, really hard...*

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