Spur Of The Moment

I made a decision this morning... a sudden one... but I believe it was the right choice.


This battle was not worth fighting...


I went in this morning to face more crap. 


Right off the bat it was Mr RoadBlock questioning me over the stupid recipes... and to be perfectly honest, since I have only been working four hours a day (because they decided the day after I started that they cannot afford to pay me full-time) I have really not had any time to FIX the dammed recipes. 


"You lie to us," he said, "Why you not tell us you have no experience making bread?"


EXCUSE ME??????..... WHAT????


"I DO have a lot of experience making bread," I told him, "But I'm used to making 150 loaves at a time... not like this, where your recipe starts out with 5 cups of flour. I'm used to starting out with at least 50 POUNDS of flour. You don't even have a mixer big enough to handle it,"


I went ahead cutting pita dough and weighing them up in 4 ounce pieces as he continued to ramble on about the business and their mistakes and their goals... and about their previous "kitchen managers" ( they'd had 2 in the past three months) and both had come in as professional bakers but neither of them knew how to bake either... It was all okay that I had lied because they were liars too...


Oh boy...


I was starting to fume... 


WHO'S the freeking LIAR here?


"I did not lie to you," I told him, "But you and Gina have not been honest with ME," 


(Boy.. did the eyebrows fly up then!)  "What? What you mean?"


"I was told this would be MY kitchen... I was told about GeekBoy... I was NOT told anything about YOU and how YOU would be contradicting everything I say... I was told this was a FULL-TIME position. I haven't worked a full day YET! I was told I'd have two days off per week. I worked SIX days this week and you seem to expect that to continue. The wages I asked for? Two days after I started I was told you couldn't afford to PAY me! I haven't made one thin dime yet!"


I shut up then because it was going to get bad... I started rounding dough as thoughts were going around in my head... could I see myself doing this long-term?... will they EVER pay me?... what about the screaming match Sunday morning?... this is just the beginning... it might get better... it might get worse... but it will certainly remain close to the same for a while... 


I watched the rice flour fly off of my hands as I rounded dough in each hand and I thought...


I'm wasting my time... I AM just wasting my time... and you know what?


Why should I waste one more minute of MY time here? No... one more second... Why waste one more second?


I didn't even wash my hands. I grabbed my notepad and my coffee cup and went to put on my jackets.


"What you doing?" Mr RoadBlock called. 


"I'm leaving," I said as I walked out the back door to head to my car.


He ran out into the darkness and cold, coming after me... "Don't go!" he called, "Was it something I said?" 


I started to laugh... 


They think I'm a liar. They think I'm going to cheat them. They do not trust me. They think I'm not really a professional baker???


Perhaps, in this case it is not a matter of being strong... 


It's a matter of being smart. 


"Goodbye!" I yelled across the parking lot...