I Quit

  I am not a quitter. 

I normally do not quit anything... doesn't matter how hard it is for me, how bad it is, nope, doesn't matter, I am not going to quit... I'll wait until it's the worst it can get before I throw in that towel... and even at that.. sometimes I'll yank that towel back in saying... no, I didn't mean that... I'm NOT quiting.

My lover woke me for work last night and I... I don't know... I just had a revelation of sorts...

They have threatened me so many times with firing me. They do not care if I am gone tomorrow. They do not need me. I do not cut their mustard. 

Remind me again? Why am I bustin myself to get there? They have been firing me for a year and a half. I am not important to them. 

They don't pay me enough for any of it to matter. 

This is the truth... I can make more money in ONE day at the cereal plant doing general labor than I can in one WEEK (all night shifts... yes SIX nights) at Twilight. 

Why don't I just work at the cereal plant all the time? Because I can't always get it... In the meantime the folks at Twilight get pissed at me for attempting to work a second job. I should have FULL availability.

I had planned to give two weeks notice, but just cut back my availability (a lot) 

Then I thought... well one week would be enough. I am really done. I do not want to work there anymore. At this point they could not pay me enough to continue.

I have had a taste now of what I used to take for granted. When I went for this new job I was treated like a real person. Instead of being treated like I'm stupid, I was treated with respect and common decency. My ego and my confidence has been renewed. My new employer BELIEVES in me.. 

I had no idea this would happen but I will tell you that it quickly made a major impact on the way I view myself... with someone in my professional life thinking that I am valuable?... It has made me strong. 

When Wally woke me I asked for the phone... I was going to call in sick. I'm tired. I have done night after night after night of short shifts.. for what? Half of a paycheck.... Half... Half of nothing equals nothing. 

Of course they did not answer the phone. I kept trying for about an hour until I got someone finally and explained that I HAD tried to call sooner but nobody was picking up.

With that done we went back to bed to actually sleep through a night... 

This morning I starting thinking about this upcoming week. I told my new boss that I would start for her on Monday. (I was scheduled off on Monday at Twilight) I figured I'd work the schedules around a bit and everything would be okay. 

Then I was thinking... why?... Why do I need to give notice to Twilight? 

They didn't give any notice to ME when I was suspended for three weeks cause somebody smelled beer. It wasn't me I swear and I blew a .0008 (yes that is 3 zeros... I have the results in print) I'm not sure but I think mouthwash probably has more alcohol in it than that. 

They didn't give notice to me after I quit my second job that they were going to cut my hours in half. They didn't give me any notice this last time when I bought my car that they'd cut my hours in half again.

They have threatened to fire me over and over again. If I spit into the wind or fart sideways they are going to fire me. 

So, I decided... although I am poor and totally broke right now and all... it just isn't worth the 40 bucks to go in and deal with any more abuse, threats and demands.... ever... they can keep their 40 bucks.

It's not even worth one more day. So, I decided to at least call them and tell them I quit.

Then they STILL didn't answer the phone..It's a freeking grocery store and they do not answer the phone!?!?! *Sigh* Welcome to The Twilight Zone. On the planet I'm from, courtesy clerks must pick up the phone by the second ring. But alas... I am no longer on the planet that I am from. 

Finally I got an answer and I asked for the P.I.C. .... I ended up talking to Jack... remember Jack from his short stint in the bakery? 

Oh Jack and I went around and around. 

I was frying and he was to be my four o'clock baker... instead of working he was making out a list of more things for me to do. I had a large order, I was falling behind and getting... going.... losing my... I started to freak... I asked him to help me out but he was too busy being an assistant manager. 

I threw my hands up in the air and told him "I'm sick. I'm leaving," 

He said, "no you're not,"

I said, "Yes I am, watch me,"

He said, "Okay then I'll fire you,"

I said, "Okay then, go ahead,"

He paused.

I said, "Go ahead! You'd be doing me a favor!"

He said, "You can't leave it's against the law,"

At that point I just about busted a gut laughing... then I let loose all of the frustration I had built up.. it splattered all over the poor guy. 

Don't you "get it" you stoopid boob? You aren't a "manager"... This is the bakery department. Managers.. all managers are WORKING managers in the bakery department! 

There was quite a lot said and most of it was not nice... and it really wasn't Mr Boobs fault.. he just happened to irritate me on a day when I hadn't slept in 62 hours and was starting to lose my shit. (That was last winter when I was doing the bus thing and had no time to sleep) 

I did apologize later. He did not deserve the huge amount of crap I dumped on him. He deserved some of it, but not all of it.

He transferred out of the department shortly after to be a "manager" on the front end. (managing the cashiers and clerks and all) 

We talked a few times after that and I brought him coffee a few times when the gals down there would load me up with whatever was leftover at night. ( the coffee shop days, when I spent hours there waiting for my shift to start)

So Jack answered my call and I said,"Hi, I just called to quit. I am not coming back,"

He said, "Oh, is it because of Mr All American.. because of the note?"

HA! Oh, hmm..

"The note? Oh I have gotten many notes from Mr All American and I have saved them all," I said, "I'm just finished and done with this,"

Then Jake asked,"Would you come in to the store and talk to me about this tonight?"

"No," I said, "I don't ever want to set foot in that store again. I'll be sending my husband to return my uniforms and pick up my last check," 

Then he asked me to do him a favor... He wants me to write him a letter about why I have been so unhappy at Twilight. ( so he can fix things he says) HA!

He wants ME to write him a letter???  HAHAHA!!!! 

Well, it is already written... I wrote it down... just never sent it anywhere... now I have been invited to! 

HAHA! How sweet is that?